the cloister of trials

HAHAHHAHAAHAHAH. Some knows what I meant by that. "The Cloister of Trials", Final Fantasy much? HAHAHAH. I am playing my FFX and FFX2, again. This is like the fourth time. Because I never get the ULTIMATE ENDINGS. :) :) And because I am very, very, verrry depressed. -_-!

I am reading the walkthroughs now. XP

P/S: IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT TO BEGIN WITH. o.o

GAKH.

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAH
HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

I can do this all day.

I remembered of this piece of 'luck charm' or an 'energy booster' that I have been keeping for more than 6 months now.

Its in the form of a letter and it says:

- Rank for July Test = 77/96.

- Zatil has not improved, her grade remains at D/E.

- February Test = 58% (D); April Test = 55% (E); July Test = 53% (E).

- Total number of classwork done = 22/25. Failed = 8.

- Total number of homework done = 66/67. Failed =39.

- The good news is that Zatil has not failed any of her tests. However, she has scored quite low marks for all three. Some of the test questions are quite straightforward but she still cannot answer them. From her exercises and test answers, it seems that she lacks the in depth knowledge for the topics concerned. She simply needs to study to get all her facts. The problems could possibly be that she tends to write rough notes on pieces of paper during lessons which she does not organize until I ask for everyone's file for checking. For the last file checking, hers was done very neatly and in order but it was very late. I do not see the reason to decorate and type out all the notes before handing it in. It's a waste of time. All I'm interested in is that she has all the materials and notes that I gave her in order and complete. Zatil needs the time for something more fruitful, revision. She is capable of doing better but has not shown her true potential this year. It is still not to late for her to start revising. Her weakest point seems to be essay writing as she tends to answer out of point. Possibly due to misinterpretation of question and unsure about her facts. So work on question interpretation also. Sometimes her explanation in structured questions is not good, other times it's on the dot. This depends on whether she knows her facts or not. Don't forget your calculations and data analysis for paper 5.

Sekian. Wassalam. (XD NADEDEH)

Everybody in the class gets a piece each, and its very effective. :) As you can see for yourself, I am among the top 20 FROM DOWN BELOW. Its not like I care. I really didn't care. I get a U for my first ever L6 MPR then constantly gotten myself straight Ds till the end of my L6. Basically I was a D student for quite a while then I dropped to an E student during my Upper 6 years. I am not proud of those years. But you see, I managed to get through. I really wonder how. My teacher said, I really have a really good luck all this time and my results are kaluk ones. :D True I guess.

OK so I lied. YOU DO HAVE TO GET YOUR BUTT OFF THE PLAYSTATIONS OR LAPTOPS TO GET THROUGH A LEVEL. SERIOUSLY. AND THIS THING, THEY CALL IT 'SACRIFICES'. >_<

I had my share so why don't you do yours? Yes I know life is unfair. Siigh. BUT ITS WORTH IT YOU KNOW. BUT OF COURSE, unless you are among those very gifted ones. -.- So no comment on that. You go ahead and play your RPGs. :)

I guess its because of the A Level results that I feel I want to entirely reminisce my college life. :)

the moment part 2

OH. Hai.

Last Saturday, I went to my beloved school and gotten my Statement of Results. It really wasn't a dream. o.o

General Paper c
Biology NO RESULT

Chemistry B

Mathematics B

BIDA JUA TU 'NO RESULT' AH.

Patience. Patience. Patience. All I need now is patience. Fuuuuuh. OK. And so, I met many many many of my friends and aquaintances since morning and I misses them so much! I miss being in school. T.T tsk tsk tsk.

Zerah picked me up around 8 in the morning and we went straight to school and found out si Hanney was still waiting at the parking lot. At this time, si Jes sudah menunggu di atas. Alone. SORRY JES! -.-' I know I was the one who said that I'll come early. Zerah tu. HAHA its always Zerah who was at fault. Heeeeheeee. :D Then sejurus XD saja kami naik, sapa nah ku jumpa? SI AMALISH! Hahaha. Capi banar. What a coincidence. But really, there are 3 repeatative things that happens after I meet a friend:

1. Me: Apa kau dapat?
   A Friend: ABCDEUabcdeu etcetra. Kau?
2. Me: I got an X for my Bio~~! *exaggerated face*
3. A Friend: HAAAH?! O.O?! / Cana plang bleh? o.o?! / *eyes blinked and bangang*

Then tejumpa tia si Jes! Hehe. Ia sama si Aqilah. Aqilah ani an aquaintance but actually shes from my Maths class. I never really talk to her. XD Then keatas kami mengambil Slip. Met Munir guy! Then tejumpa ShiouYiiiii! She aced hers! XD Envy ku eh anak atu. When I told her about my X, shes was like "Kabak2 ku eh for you" with a very serious face! XD I bet shes worried. Apatah lagi akuuu.. ja? Thenn thenn tejumpa someone! :) :)

Me: Ahh~~~~! Ko bedating sama boyfriend ku ahhh~!
*do the tangan thing of 'Ahh~~!'*
Her: *NERVOUS FACE*

HEHEHEE. I don't know whether its because of that or pasal her results that she looks very awkward around me. Don't worry. I am... cool? With the fact that YOU WENT OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND?????! HAHAHAHA. Seriously, I don't mind. FUUFUUUFUUU! Awuu wahhhh, banar2 aku okayyy. Apakaaan aku ah.

Then we (Zerah, Hanney, Jes and I) went separate ways. Before that, I met si Aqilah, Muai and Nabila in front of the library and told about my X. They were like O.O? HUHUHU. Then tejumpa si Yasir lagi. Sama jua reactionnya. Haha. Wonder wheres si Mumu? THAT GUY KEEP ON TEXTING ME LIKE HELL!!!!!!!!!! MAJAL WAH!!!!!!! Pasal parking punnn yehhh!!! -.-' So I went to check for Mrs. Irene but shes busy in the audi for the Lower 6 admission. Then melintas tia ku arah Chemistry Department and telihat my breakdown.

04 05 AS(?)

C D A

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! PAPER 5 KU D, NOT AN E!!!!!!! SANANG HATI KU EHHH!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! THANK GOD!!! *.* <-- glitter eyes

THEN TEJUMPA KU MY FIRST WIVES! SI GMAH AND SI ANNA! Yes, they both are my first wife. Shared. While I am their second wife. -.-' How unfair. Huhu. We went to the Biology Department together and saw our breakdowns.

04 05 AS(?)
B B X

Lawa kan? Bunyinya macam BEBEKS. -.-' So now its clear why my overall result is an X. They didn't include my AS. Then I left them to check for my Maths breakdown. I met si Jes and Mumu again there.

03 04 AS(?)
C D A

HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!! Mechanics ku D WOOOHOOOO!!! I thought I flunked it. And I thought my Pure Maths would be worst. But then again, THANK GOD. *.* Baru ku kan lari, ada tia org memanggil nama ku. Ku toleh.... SI TIKAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAH I MISSS HERRRR SI KAMBANG AAHHHH. HUHUHU. Ia dapat 5 conditional offers udah and she showed me the list and asked for my opinion. I said "Always take the best :)" hehehe. Si Nisah pun ada but didn't get to congratulate her for her 2 'A's. Eco lagi tu. Fuhh~!

After that we went to the exam section and met si Gmah and Anna. I asked si Jes and Mumu to go stamp their certs first over at VIP Room while I go ranting over at the exam section. But I didn't because the teacher was sooo funnyyy and humble. All they said was "Just go home and warm your pillow" Haha. Yeah basically I just have to wait for them to contact me regarding my final result. Siigh. No Otago I think? Never mind. There is still UK to consider.

When I went outside, si Zerah and Hanney were there waiting, so did si Gmah and Anna. I explained to them and then went to the VIP Room with Zerah and Hanney to stamp our certs. UNLUCKILY, ramai orang. So kami pergi makan dulu over at our beloved canteen and sat on our spot. Ahh, how I miss those lunch times. We really had a great laugh. Sigh. I will really miss them. :'( Though you guys are not bestfriends but you guys were very very close to me, well compared to masa Form 5. We were from different 'tribes' hahahahahaha.

"Aku ada standard..." XD XD HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! Zerah knows what and who I am talking about. Hehehhehehehehehe. Then Mumu balik pasal kan servicing his car. I said to him "WHY TODAY OF ALL DAYS?" And apa nah nya "Appointment udah bah" GEH. Sasak ku. Tadi msg mcm apa. CEH. Then Hanney pun balik pasal kan ambil certs nya yang lain. Followed by si Jes pasal kan mendangani sisternya admission. So tinggal aku dengan si Zerah. Naik kami, jumpa lagi si dalenks ku, Gmah and Anna, now ada si Fakhri (dalenk si Gmah). There we talked further about my X. -.-'

THEN TEJUMPA SI WEI DENG DONG!!!!

Me: What did you got?? Triple Assssssss ni ehhhh.
Him: *smiled proudly and showed 4 fingers and waved it*
Me: AIIIII!! KAMBANGGG! So its a ...quadd..uhm??
Him: Quadruplets. XD

I meant to say Quartet. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Too much classical music bah aku ah. EEEEEE, I ENVY MY CHINESE FRIENDSSSSS. Tadi si Shiouyiii. Bis si Chi Haw and Ho Han apatah lagi. Sorry if I misspell your names ah. Huhu. Then back to si Gmah, "EH NGAPA KAN KAMU ITAM SEMUA ANI?" Kana jawab tia jua oleh si Fakhri, "Ada orang mati" XD HAHAA.

Then then finally we go stamp our certs. Met si Hanney again. Then something really really irritating happened. I won't say it here. But...

ARGHHHH LUAN JUAAAAAAA INDA BELAJAR MIB KAHHHH?????!!!!
INDA JUA PAYAH CEMATU KALIAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! INDA PUAS HATI PASAL HIDUP DRG
KALIIIII!!! INDA TAU ETIKA SEMASA BEKERJA KALIII!!! INDA BELAJAR SOPAN SANTUN
KAHHH?!?!?!?!?!?!?

There. That'll do. Zerah and Hanney tau tu. -.-' Then Zerah balik. Tinggal aku sama Hanney. Di library kami menphotocopy the rest of our certs. Caya, from 200 to 9 copies left. HAHAHA. 3 orang plang pakai tu: Hanney, Mumu and aku. We talked like the good old days. Aku sama Hanney selalu tu becerita kalau dalam library. Hehe. Oh we miss Vynna~ WHERE ARE YOU VNAAA????~~ COME OUTT~~~! HEHEHE.

Then si Hanney tiba-tiba craving to buy chocolates arah Hua Ho Gadong Property. Inda jua ku realised tu rupanya tempat atu Hua Ho. XD So we went out sekejap. She drives. Then datang sana bali Cades and ice-cream pulang. HEHE. Lepak dalam kereta and ceta-ceta lagi. Then finally went back to school to do the final stamping. HUHU. Then Hanney balik, I waited for my dad LIKEWISE arah tangga bawah ah. It was my waiting spot for almost 2 years and now, I guess I will miss the spot.

No, I will miss Maktab Duli. :'(

So juniors, don't complain. Lagipun banyak perbaruan udah kena buat for the sake of you little ones. (HEYY HEYY, I WAS ONCE THOSE LITTLE ONES TOO!!) :D :D :D

But my point is -.-'...... STUDY HARD AND SMART SO THAT YOU WOULD'NT REGRET TO HAVE SEEN YOUR STATEMENT OF RESULT TO BE WRITTEN "NO RESULT"S AND "UNGRADED"S ON IT.

DON'T IGNORE. TAKE IT.

the moment

I don't know why but I am quite in the mood to blog about what happened on 29th January. For 2 weeks long, I have been trying to google this:

A LEVEL NOVEMBER 2008 RESULTS BRUNEI

I have been having this mixed feelings about it ever since I first typed it out; temptation, anxiety, excitement, doubts, etcetra -- every kinds of feelings. And as days gone by, it faded away bit by bit but at the moment, to know that your mother just made a phone call and told you its going to come out today...?

o_O?!?!

KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Seriously. I couldn't think. As I walk out the room, I keep on going around and round and round the family hall when I was actually wanted to go to the bathroom. My mind was really numb. And most of my expressions were like this: o.o

Then I spent most of my time online; thanks to Amalish for accompanying me till the end. Been checking bruneiexam and bruneiastronomy most of the time for softcopies during that nerve-wreaking time which until now, not anywhere to be found. And 2 people, EVEN TWO PEOPLE, helped me by registering for the SMS thing meaning RESULTKU WORTH 6 BRUNEIAN DOLLAR BABYYY! Haha.

I, thoughtLESSly, said to my mom "Sapa bagitau result ku dulu, ku cium ni." since its already 3.30 pm at that time. Never in my life waited for that long for my exam result. Then the moment came just before I was finally going to the toilet (was reluctant to leave the phone). My mom's phone default message tone rang, which seemed pretty loud only at that moment. No suspense here. My cousin, who was one of the two who registered for me, forwarded the 'RESULT'. Since my mom is long-sighted, I uhh HAVE TO read it myself.

BIO/X
CHM/B
MTH/B
GNP/c

Note: I didn't do this to brag. Duiima, banyak lagi result org outstanding. And plus, I don't really think that other people other than my close friends will be reading this 'almost dead' blog. The only big deal to me is my Biology. Its my life. Kapish?

Bangangness came shortly after I read it. Then, I went blank. Very very blank. I only thought of this: I love Biology, very very very much. I did come to every sitting; I have witnesses :). I did checked whether I wrote my indexes during the exam; out of constant paranoia. AND I DID CARRIED FORWARD MY NOVEMBER; I went to the exam setion myself to check for the details. Period.

Then why in the world would I get, out of all the 25 alphabeths, an X?

o.o..?

o.O..?!

O_O!!!!

T__T!?!?!?!?

Of course yes. I snapped and broke down eventually. Cried like a crazy person and can't think of the possibility of the X to be some sort of a silly mistake, which everybody who I told can think of. Sampai inda tediri wah and bida lagi tu. Sheesh. Like I totally neglected my other subjects. SERIOUSLY. In my eyes were only 'BIO/X'. I think my eyes crossed like this: x.x pasal luan banyak tepikirkan X. One more reason was, I am planning to take Biology-related courses. So yes, I have the rights to rant about it.

I am very grateful for my other subjects though. Chemistry, Mathematics and GP was expected, especially GP :). I am proud of my GP not because of apa, its just that from the start of my GP classes, I have been only getting Cs. Like, it is the ONLY subject that I am consistent with. And YES, I GOT THE C IN THE END TOO! XD Happy happy!

I am very very grateful for Chemistry despite the disappointing Paper 5. I bet I got an E for it. I should really checked for my breakdowns later, out of curiosity of how did I get it through, haaah. The Paper 5, as I remembered, was a nightmare. I only answer ONE SECTION, and consciously leave the other section blank. o.o Menangis kali ku ah, but lagi bida ku menangis pasal X ani lah. Haha.

Same goes to my Maths. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *with the puas hati tone*. I DIDN'T DO MUCH OF THE PAST YEARS. HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA *proud tone*. But nyeh, it serves me right. Could have aced it but the effort was, SIGH. But still very grateful that it didn't dropped to a C. THANK YOU GOD! *__* <-- glittery eyes. :) :)

So here are my list of people who I wanted to thank eventhough X ku balum kena resolve:

• BABU AND BAPAKU. For the constant 'advices' and money support :D. And to be there for me when I cried my eyes out and whenever I have doubts in my life decisions. And to pray for my success everyday :). I LOVE YOU BOTH MUCH EQUALLY! =3 =3 Why did I said 'equally'? Pasal I think most of the time I usually talk to my mom about everything. But both were there through my thick and thin. :)
• MY BIO TEACHERS: Miss Lim, Miss Hui Hui and especially Mrs. Irene. Mrs. Irene, thank you for everything. :) Just to let you know, you are my second favourite biology teacher who I wanted to be proud of myself. :D And I would really love to reach beyond your expectations someday. And to the other 2 teachers, thank you for your brilliant time with us. Afterall, you did teach us something. :)
• MY CHEM TEACHERS: Madam Sikha and especially Tchr Jusmanita. Cher Jus, though I didn't get to know you close enough but thank you for everything! Especially, thank you for being strict to me! :) :) :) And Madam Sikha, you too, thank you for everything! I can't really say that only tuition helped me through because tuition alone wouldn't suffice for me. Cher Jus gave us everything, so do Mdm Sikha; from 'vigorous' classworks, homeworks and WONDERFUL NOTES! So the sum of all that, I am sad to say, I should have aced it. But I am still grateful compared to my early MPRs of Us. XD
• MY MATHS TEACHERS: Tchr Yohan Hendricks and especially Tchr Law Kok Beng. THANK YOU BOTH! Though we were only with Tchr Yohan for quite a short time but THANK YOU FOR THE BRILLIANT FORMULAS. I didn't get to use some though which is such a waste. Sigh. And I am sooo sorry that I escaped your class 4 times in a row (masa near exam). I knew that you saw me and said nothing. D:
• MY, THE ONE AND ONLY GP TEACHER: Miss Adyani! YOU ARE SUCH A BRILLIANT TEACHER. I like you a lot because you are fun! FUN FUN FUN! :) :) And you changed my views of life and the world itself. And thats big. :D So THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! And thank you for making me realise that our Earth is only this small because that makes me realise all the big deals are small deals afterall. :D Like my X deal. Haha.
• EVERYONE ELSE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CARE ALL THIS TIME! :D

I can only say how thankful I am but couldn't really show how. So, I'll try to show it like this:

THANK YOU!

There. Thats how big my thank is. Suspense. :) Sadly, I wanted it to be bigger than the web page. Sigh. Bah I have to take a shower. I am going to go to school and rant there. XD Nada deh. Going to see my beloved teachers and kiss them. XD XD

Wait, X ku kan di apa? o.o haa.

-its not the end yet- :)

its okay.

I thought I was strong enough to accept anything. Apparently, I have yet, a lot to learn. I wanted to be as calm and positive as I expect myself to be but I guess I am not mature enough. So I can only become paranoid.

Why didn't they call?
Why didn't they inform me?
Why didn't I get selected?
Was I too much?
Was I too inadequate?
Were my references bad?
Or was it my PoS?
etc.
etc.

So while my mind was going wild, I decided to text SY.
To my dismay, she wasn't called too. -_-"
I really thought that she would have already been informed.

She calmly reply my chaotic message, saying: ...because it is hard to get a scholarship and there are many other chances though.

GOODNESS. I can immediately see our different level of maturity.

But actually, my cousin, who was informed, was even more chaotic than me. About the fact that, I didn't get "the call" -_-"

G, if you are reading this: I am still glad that you called and told me, though it hurts. T_T

JOKE :D:D:D

But seriously, I wasn't too confident with it that I even limit myself from being confident. Or maybe I should not have done that? GEH.

MISERY: I am so sorry if I can't make your NZ tour a dream come true. D': D': A UK tour perhaps? :D:D

So as soon as I replied my cousin's message, I instantly start a new application: MS WORDS and wrote:

Personal Statement

I want to further my higher education in Physiotherapy. WHY?!?! WHY DID THIS HAPPENED TO ME?!?!?! TT__TT

(I broke down)

FUUU XD. No, actually, I barely continue my second sentence. I couldn't think of anything. I also, immediately went to ucas and check for UK universities that offers Physiotheraphy course. GEH.

--the following paragraph has nothing to do with the above issue, that is if you can read this note--

Then I stopped halfway and continue my ONEMANGA-ing, now that is more refreshing since Skip Beat 133 is up! FUFUUFUU~ And thank goodness, Special A is back on track! I love mangas over animes afterall. You see, I finished Special A anime and the ending was... okay. BUT the manga is far more OKAY. ITS GREAT, FANTASTIC, BRILLIANT, SUPERB, ...etc. I was exaggerating, I only meant to say that I like the manga plots more. :D:D

Then I stopped halfway to finish my Jumong DVD3. So far I think its getting interesting. The story plot that is. Actually at this moment, my dad is watching DVD1, my sister DVD2, me DVD3 and my mom is on DVD4: all at different places. 3 of us use laptops while my mom is using the DVD player. XDXDXD So we are definitely catching up with each other.

I am just getting along with my fate.

Holy shittake part 2

*Continuation from this post.

Apparently, this is the ONLY photo that is safe.


Well, it wouldn't be fair if I say it like that. I meant to say the only safe photo FROM MY 19th BIRTHDAY. It is from my Facebook (I think some people should recognised, its my profile photo). I shouldn't have deleted my photo albums back then; I COULD HAVE RETRIEVED EVERYTHING, especially Miss Yani's. Inda ku sampat membagi teacher the photos bah. And plus, atu tah saja photo ku sama teacher Yani. GOD, AKU BANAR-BANAR SASAK.

P/S: Awu, that one is my boyfriend, si Yush. He looks like a baddie~ And I looked, weird. No comment.

sweet revenge

I don't feel like Sunako-ing today.

First, Yush, then my dad. Siigh. God, how much worse can this be? May be my sister knew that I was such in a bad mood so when she came home, she brought me Buttercookies. One of my favourites. Ah, just forget about it.

The day after tomorrow, the attachment. I have been looking forward to it ever since I heard about it last year. Some of my acquaintances from MD will be there too -- Gmah (LT12), Yee Ping (Bio), Shiou Yii (GP) and Jerold (Chem). We will be having a 1-week rotation service (but in fact the 1-week is merely 5 days excluding Friday and Sunday). Jangan salah, the schedule given is fully packed with everything! I think I am going to enjoy my attachment, somehow.

We are not paid for the attachment. It is just for the sake of knowing many different health-related careers that we can have and to experience it for a short while. As for me, it is between Scientific Services or Physiotherapy. Physiotherapy course - only God knows how exaggerated I was when I heard about people being nude during lessons just for the sake of learning about the "body". I can accept it now though. It is afterall, for the knowledge.

GTG. (stail lama)

P/S: I can't find my wig TT_TT (I shouldn't have cut my hair!) and my so-called 'school uniform' cost me BND40. It that a reasonable price? I thought it should be less than that. Afterall, it is a 'school uniform'. Is it that hard to make that kind of school uniform kah auntie? Or maybe she thought that I am just a spoilt brat who wouldn't care about how much my 'SCHOOL UNIFORM' would cost. Bah fine whatever, you are the tailor afterall. I can't do anything about that. My dad didn't care, but I care about money OKAY. My family is actually acquainted with one of the tailors (the main reason why I want to do my uniform there) but she moved to other branch. That is the reason why I didn't get a 'smooth' deal. GAHH!

P/S/S: That is why I got into a really bad mood. Akhirnya Sunako-ing jua ku nah. I JUST HOPE IT WILL TURN OUT VERY WELL SINCE IT COST ME BND40. Awu, jangan komplain because I have always been like this when it comes to money.

paradox

It is really funny on how I managed to complain so much over June AS examination, as to say that it was really a big deal. Some didn't think so. While I was reminiscing my past, I came across this post. Since 2008 is coming to an end, it is only natural for one to take a look back at ones life for the past year, right?

Actually I am thinking of skipping this topic and move on to the next one. ^_^

GREAT NEWS: I just received a phone call from Jes and she said "YOUR SUNAKO!"~♥♥♥

I knew what it was, the cosplay is on! And it will be my first ever cosplay, and as my most favourite character of them all, NAKAHARA SUNAKO! ~~♥♥

This girl right here.

Who can be like this:

And this:

So don't tell me that someone else is doing her. I did plan big though i.e. steal Biology lab punya human anatomy mannequin, because I can't afford B$100+ just for a Hiroshi-kun (one of Sunako's mannequins: others are John, Josephine and Akira-kun). And I was planning to get some skulls, a huge one for a John, but it is hard to find it in Brunei and I haven't really tried internet buying (although Jes advised me to). But now I have my own plan of doing small 'props' for Sunako. May not be extravagant like having mannequins all over (I wish), just some details.

I am not choosing her as my character because of my confidence in portraying her. OKAY look, to put it in simple terms, I am not Sunako. People don't describe me like this:

• Often referred to as Ghost girl or Scary girl due to her dark presence.
• A lover of solitude, gore movies, anatomical dolls and objects that reflect the ugly side of life as she puts it.
• Has locked herself away in a world of solitude due to a traumatic experience with her first love.

That is just not me, at least not all of that. But I like her character very much, not a candidate for a role model though but as someone I could see way deep down inside me, someone who I ought to be I think, that is if I hadn't got the confidence.

Tomorrow morning I am going to get my butt to the tailor shop, WITH MY MOTHER. Of course before that I have to buy some school uniform materials and thank God the colour of the school uniform is the same colour as the ones primary schools' wears (I wonder if mom still keeps mine?). Oh in case you are wondering why, I am cosplaying as Nakahara Sunako in her school uniform; a uniform which gives out some kind of 'catholic' vibe.

This one.
.
.
.
.
.

EHHHHHHHHHHHH?! (like the typical japanese's "EHHH?!")

I did kept all Sunako's uniform photos for examples to show to the tailor but I seem to delete it already because I naively thought that I could just re'save' the image from the manga. AND now I am taking my bloody time searching for those pictures! Then I think I'll have to read the manga again, for the sake of my cosplay. ;p Google don't have those good photos from the manga.

P/S: Where to get such long straight (and black) wig ah? I already cut my hair short, again. What about a bini hat? I have an orange bini hat and I don't think Sunako would wear such bright colour. (giggle)

A very loud giggle.

It is very amusing on the fact that people actually think that I live an easy life, academically. Well, no. I don't. I used to but not anymore. In fact, I am quite comfortable with the way I am now. I learn to make mistakes so that I can find the reasons to not doing it again. Silly eyh? To few who knew, as ironic as it may seem, I did end up crying in the school toilet, for hours and days. (quiet giggle) I am not embarrass to admit it, but I did. It was the worst days of my life in college and that was before I found someone to talk to -- and I did not mean the school counsellors -- good friends, two good friends and a whole bunch of LT people. They somehow bring me back to life (and again, ironic) and give me a bit of taste of what a college life should be.

Sigh, I miss those people and them too -- my lunch friends -- it is easier to call them my lunch friends despite the fact that they are actually my good friends from SMB and we never miss gathering during lunch for the past 2 years, unless of course, the habit of absence in school strikes and holidays and some other logic reasons.

What inspires me from posting this up is merely a picture. This picture.

Can you see that? To me, it clearly penned in red ink:

64%, B graded, a "Well done" and a "DID YOU COPY?"

(giggling very hard) It was my chemisty short test, a short test, a very short test and I was somehow suspected of COPYING, for a short test? Me >> short test >> copying? As if. Even if I wanted to, I could have done it in the big exam, OKAY. But it never occurred in my mind. I think I know the reason why she did that: at that time I sat in front then when the time came for us to hand in, I went back to my seat which was at the very back, to get my overdued homework paper and to write my name on that paper. Maybe she thought I was referring to something! Sheesh.

There is another one but I am too lazy to get a photo of it, or was I? Actually I was too busy crying at the back of the classroom (giggle giggle). BUT I am sure that what she wrote was not only penned on my paper, but also in my brain and heart. She penned in red:

A zero, a "NO EFFORT AT ALL" and a "YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF". In addition, she even scolded me in front of the classroom, the loud and sharp scolding -- my very very first.

Again, its chemistry. Clearly I am not having a chemistry with Chemistry. Everything just go wrong in that lab. But this one, Erma also got scolded but I got the bullseye one; it melt me into something new, an alloy maybe? (quiet giggle) But I thank my chemistry teacher for all that because without it, I would have continuously hand in my answer papers with scribbles of test tubes and beakers.

I was also suspected of copying in Biology. God, I love Biology, why would I do that? So after few misunderstandings and that I constantly covered for the culprit, she was caught red handed at last. Uh-uh, it wasn't me who told Ms. Lim, it was she herself who told Ms. Lim. But if I write it like this, it may seem that she turn herself in but no-no, she didn't. Be surprised: she actually hand in her own paper with my name on it.

Don't get it? She blindly copied my name instead of writing hers! (since she was blindly copying off my works). (very loud giggle) You know who you are my friend. I do still miss this girl a lot despite her mischievousness. I don't mind about all this because it was such a hilarious memory.

I also experience this copying thing in Mathematics and it was the time when our beloved Mr. Law was still teaching us. Now he is in Aussie. I did e-mailed him though regarding my references for the scholarship. Seriously, I miss him a lot. (giggle) I remember of this one time when I was not in school for 3 days because I was very ill and when I came back, he put on that pity face and asked me how I was and said, in front of the class:

"I miss you. Boleh kan?"

(hard giggle) I blushed and the whole class was burst in laughter. Seriously, when he said that, he looked serious. Isn't he such a thoughtful teacher? (giggle) And I also remember about him mentioning about 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly' -- it was about the Mathematics Department's system of ranking people by their Maths grades in O Level. Basically, we were on the 'Bad' level, and worst when he retired.

What about my AS subject - General Paper? Well, I don't have problems in GP other than having the feelings of inferiority each time I went to class but everything else was a hell lots of fun. I totally miss GNP Block 1, Miss Yani's class. And compared to my other classes, this class is the most outgoing -- we celebrate birthdays! And to me, Miss Yani taught us not just general issues but life itself. She sure picked the right career because what she did really inspires me in many ways.

I hope I can do that for others too.

Holy shittake.

I am very frustrated. I lost my most memorable recent photos, right from my own hard disk. Especially those photos from my birthday. I keep on blaming the stupid external hard disk for it and been unconsciously nagging like an old lady. God, sasak ku wah. The open LT photos I can take from Anna but the open GP class and Miss Yani's birthday?... God, aku banar-banar sasak. I should have burn them out and give it to Tikah earlier, but now what can I give her? I already promised her the photos after the exam. Is this my fault? I did nothing wrong jua! I am really sorry to those people involved in the photos. It is really upsetting for me to just let it be... gone, just like that.

Subject: People
Location: Home

"CHEST or CHESS???"

Sorry Chess people, not much of good quality photos.
I will add up some more later.

P/S: I AM VERY BAD AT CHESS. I asked Anna to play Chess with me but in the end... I surrendered.

I could not tolerate of not taking this (above). X,X SORRYY!!!

Baby turturs.

I AM BACK PEOPLE.

This photo was from the biology's turtle centre trip.
The photos taken were THAT bad. GAH.

My goal.

"You show no improvement,..." she said.

I took things for granted.

16/05/2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALLY!!
Sorry for not messaging you earlier today because I am accustomed to save the greeting for the last of the day.

I am sure some of you would know of a fact that most people tend to only recall the first few minutes of a lesson and the last few minutes of a lesson; so yes I am applying it in this case. WHICH strongly reminds me of Caesar. I remember him for the fact that he was the last person to greet me on my birthday. =)

LT12 BLK5

Yes, from the GDLs, to the Elevenians, to the China Towners(?), you just feel as good being in MD despite of being in the so-called groupers; I was meant to say that in MD, we are racist we are rational.
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.
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HEEE. ^___^

For me its does feels good to be able to be ACCEPTED here. That is as far as I know.

They are crazy, its fun to hang out with them. ^_^

W&W

"Eh kamu, on Saturday bis si Hazim kan surprisekan si Waley... and tarus si Wana punya bedday."

That was si babu, whispering to us and she even use post-its to tell us about the plan. GAHAHA. So yah, it was successful, I THINK. Though, si Waley pranked us back for making us wait at the Dining Hall for quite sometime, and for making us think that IA SUDAH BALIK! Shoot. He really knew how to surprise us but it was worth it because si Wana punya shocking face was mahal to capture at that moment. Huhu.
(Sorry for the broken language)

What I meant by NOT MINE is that its not me who capture it. And for the last photo... *giggles* SORRYYYYY BUT I CAN'T HELP IT BUT TO UPLOAD IT. Cute waa. Gehehehe.

THE EYE.

I was planning to use this picture for her birthday greeting post puulangg.
"Zer, jantah kambang nah yg mata mu lawa." GAHAHA.

*coffs*

GAH, I cannot tolerate it.
This one is taken near Teacher Shika (sp)'s place.
I am quite worried about the TB thing going on at school because I have been having this irritating coughs all day, THOUGH I am not acquainted to the person who is infected.

'AS' IS COMING AND I AM NOT FREAKING READY FOR IT.

On hiatus.

So this probably be the last post for this month (and probably next month) since there is only a month left to JUNE AS; I am going to start my INTENSIVE revisions.

I will be back for more.

P/S: I love leaf-less trees.

Not too much.

GAH.
I tried not to be over confident for this upcoming June AS, and I kept telling myself, "I am not confident, I am not confident; I am just excited, this is excitation; I did it, and I can do it again." Convincing much, yes?

For last November AS, I did not do much revisions as I am now for June AS; this freaks me out. Big time. Because for one thing that I know about myself is that, I tend to flunk when things get too 'serious' and too organized.

What annoys me most is that people kept saying that I don't have to worry anymore about my Biology and/or that I will aced my June again. They are making me more and more aware of my own abilities, in a way that, it scares me. I know they are just trying to 'NOT discouraging' me and to them, as a way of support.

BLA BLA BLA


To Amalina, a very good friend of mine, if she is reading this (I hope she do read this someday): I care about the people who are kind to me, which includes you. Be strong, and do not hurt yourself IN ANY WAY. No cutting, no writing hurtful frustrated letters or post-its, no vandalizing yourself, no cursing (you don't curse, do you?), no punching, no everything that will result to more pain. OK? You are one, and probably the only friend that I have, who has this consistency in believing her own philosophy. This is my view about you so I am sorry if you don't feel that its right. One more thing is that, I really enjoy doing window shoppings with you. (: